can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
