There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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