Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
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He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
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Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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