Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize