Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
birth control should be required to get into college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize