Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
