mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
