i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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