Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
