so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
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New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
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perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize