WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
