I love black thongs
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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