the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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