I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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