I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
