sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
