I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize