guys are not supposed to queef...right?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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