My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
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