she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
