Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
