I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
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He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
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We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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