i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
