is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
