hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
either way he was missing a nipple.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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