Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You just made me feel so damn special
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
no. you can't hotbox the world.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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