idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
