dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
