Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
