Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
its liver damage thursday
Randomize