what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
