That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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