Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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