foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
