dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
