im drinking this country out of the recession.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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