I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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