She's JV to your varsity
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I wish there were birth control emojis
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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