I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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