Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
