dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
