Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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