I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
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