we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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