I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
