the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
