So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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