She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
