He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
