YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
