Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
