walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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