i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
