I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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