Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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