You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
