chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom said you looked used
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize