I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
