Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
